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You are a brave soul.

 

“You are a brave soul,” she said.

And something within me

sat upright & at attention,

so now I want to share with you

that you

are a brave soul too.

These are the words down a blank sheet of paper upon returning home from an acupuncture appointment.

I can still see the desk now, my dad’s slanted art desk, white on top, with black trim…

and the gold, permanent, Sharpie marker I used to write these words down in my notebook.

You see, I had just experienced a devastating loss…and after a really horrendous Uber ride to my appointment that had my nervous system misfiring even more out-of-whack than usual, I found myself a sobbing wreck upon arrival.

I was immediately taken to my usual treatment room, where I lied out on the treatment table and allowed myself to cry while I waited for my appointment time.

In my sobs, a quiet woman came in. She was a Chinese woman with a soft demeanor, a gentle presence about her.

Memories of being in this very room, with the person I’d lost, a supportive friend who had been there with me in that very room on a treatment the time before…

I could see him there now. The memory so clear and vivid.

Yet, him, so anguishingly absent.

And I sobbed.

So much so that they sent this kind woman in to greet me, to sit with me, to wait me, and to help me find my own inner calm.

I don’t know what anyone expected, but I received a priceless gift that day…something that far outweighed any treatment I’ve ever received.

She gave me hope. And she, in a very real, and tangible and physical way, gave me the gift of knowing that I wasn’t alone, and helped me to feel the love, the softness within my heart.

She took my hand and gently placed it over my heart.

Then I believe she told me to feel, to feel the love within my heart, saying that it was always there for me.

And this gesture, this putting my hand over my heart that has meant so much to me over the years, found a new layer of good fortune, of treasure for me.

And as my cries began to quiet, and I allowed myself to soften and to breathe, she said, ” You are brave soul.”

And something within me did, truly, did sit upright, and at attention. Something within me sat up very clearly as if to say back, “yes, that is me.” And perhaps even on so say, “I’m so glad you finally realized, that you’re finally calling me by name, recognizing WHO I truly am. YES, that is ME.”

She helped me to believe in myself.

She helped me to know that I would be okay.

She helped me tap into a part of myself that even through the grueling years prior to that still remained untapped.

You see, we all end up in places in our lives where no matter who we are or how much we’ve grown, there is always still another level deeper…

Another level of peace.

Another level of skin to shed…to come to know our true selves more fully than we ever have before.

And that’s what this was for me.

A recognition of a part of me that had been there all along, just waiting for me to call her name.

To tell myself the truth about who I am:

That I am a Brave Soul.

And that knowing couldn’t help but come with the desire to spread the word everywhere, as far as I could reach that day…if only at first, from that golden scribbled message on the tattered piece of paper I’d written on that day.

So now, I finally have the opportunity to declare, to tell you how brave you are.

To say that you are a brave soul, too, and to let us join together and sing in nature’s most beautiful and glorious song, the song that lives within our hearts.

And that’s what writing is all about for me, uncovering the voice that wants to sing, the love that dwells within our hears just waiting to burst out.

So I hope you’ll join me, on this blog, in any one of my offerings.

It would be an honor to sing with you, in whatever form that takes.

Much love to you, now and always,

Caitlin

 

I’d love to hear from you in the comments…

What helps you remember your bravery and helps you feel connected to the love within your heart?

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